Slaying the Beast

When I was young, I was good at a lot of things in school. English, history, and I wasn’t half bad at science. The only thing I found myself literally failing at with every year was math. My poor parents did everything they could: tutors, extra classes after school, helping me with homework, tutoring books, everything. Math was my beast. When I went to college, I successfully avoided the math classes until the summer before my junior year. Unfortunately, when that time came around, I either had to take a few math classes and graduate late or test out of the classes entirely. Of course, I wanted to graduate with all my friends, so I decided to test out of math entirely. I wanted to slay my beast.

To give you some background on my math life: The best I have every done in ANY math was a solid B. Most people would say that’s wonderful and it was, however the year after that I got worse. When talking about it later in my life, I figured it mostly had to do with confidence. I didn’t always have the greatest math teachers, the one year I had the B, my teacher was an amazing and supportive. She made me feel like I could accomplish anything, including math tests.

When I approached my parents with my plan of testing out of math, they were nervous at first, just like me, but they supported me no matter what. Dad suggested taking the test and seeing where I would place and then testing out after, just so I would know where I was. So I did that. I studied for about a week with my good friend, Brie, who decided to do the same thing. We went into the center and we were able to take the test at the same time. The test was on a computer, if you got a certain amount right/wrong it would stop the test and print your results. Brie was done before me, but I finished a couple minutes later, we both didn’t pass and it said we had to start at the lowest college math. I was upset and asked the lady when I could retake the test. She said 2 weeks.

Needless to say, I studied my butt off. I locked myself in my room and studied every piece of math I could get my hands on. There was a math study course online that I did and after every part was completed, I rewarded myself with watching “The Apprentice” online. It was summer and everyone else was taking courses, so this wasn’t too out of the ordinary, Myke was working non stop and he was 100% supportive.

After two full weeks of studying, I walked in with my head high and went up to the same lady that was there 2 weeks ago and said I was ready. She smiled and said “Ok sweetie. It’s good to see you again.” I sat down and she asked if I was nervous and I told her I was and she asked if I had prayed about it. I went to a Christian school and they were supportive in prayer. I told her I didn’t, so she told me to take a little time and pray. I went into a little corner and said a prayer:

God, You know what I have done to prepare. I want to pass this. I want to conquer this war that I have been fighting my whole life. However, I have done all I can. If it is in your will, I will pass. If I don’t, well I’ll do my best. Please clear my head so I can focus. Thank you for all the support you have given me these past two weeks. Here I go. Amen.

I text Myke and told him I was going in (phones were kept at the lady’s desk). As I handed her my phone, I told her,”I’m ready.”

“Good luck sweetie, just remember, take your time. No pressure”

I walked in sat down and whispered “here we go.”

I remember the first few questions seemed easy. I went through those quickly, however when questions three and four came up I took a deep breath and worked it out on my scratch paper and found the right answer. After about 20 questions or so, the test said that I was done and to go get my results. My insecure thoughts came creeping in, I knew I had gotten at least one wrong and I started to get scared. When I walked out to the reception, the lady asked me how I think I did. I told her I felt ok, but better than last time. The printer started going and she got up to her my results. She got the paper, looked at it and then at me. She got tears in her eyes and I thought oh no, it’s that bad? She came around her desk and handed me the paper and said “Congratulation my dear. You never have to worry about math again” My test results showed that out of the 25 questions I was asked, I got 3 wrong and the test calculated that I was competent enough that I did not need to take math and it automatically waved all my math credits.

I hugged her and cried and said thank you, I got out my phone and called the other most important man in my life, Dad.

“Hi sweetie” (caller ID)

“Dad”

“So?..”

“I did it.”

“What?”

“Dad, I passed out of all of my math credits. I don’t have to take any math classes.”

“Yes! Oh yeah! Oh honey…I’m so proud of you!” his voice cracking as we talked and celebrated over the phone.

All I could do was cry I was so happy. When I told Myke I got the biggest hug I had ever received and he took me out to celebrate. I had slayed my beast. I couldn’t have done it without studying, but I can only study so much. God gave me the confidence that I needed to go in and take that wall down. This post was written for a woman named Cat, who is going to slay her own beast soon, however I hope this story leaves you with hope that even if the beast is as small or big, God’s got you. Do your best, no matter what, you will come out on top.