I’ve read through these last few posts a dozen times and I add and delete things every time. I don’t know if I will ever be able to perfectly pen how the 39 day process of getting Olivia home. I look back every now and then and my arms long to hold her, even if she is sitting 2 feet from me.
I want to thank you all for reading her story. It was a very difficult piece for me to write and I’m glad that some people read it-at least that’s what the stats tell me. I want it also known that I look back on that time and I still thank God for that time. I would never wish for this process on anyone else nor would I ever want to go through it again, but that’s not what I mean. During my time of going back and forth to CHLA, I would think about why God had me go through this-there had to be a reason. The whole process made me stronger, as a woman and as a new mama. I don’t let little things bother me so much anymore. At work, I once had someone get really angry with me and since I a bit of a people pleaser, I usually take it to heart. One of my supervisors told me not to worry about it and I looked at her and said, “the worse thing I can possibly imagine has already happen to me, so the little things don’t bother me anymore.” I have a baby that lights up and laughs when she sees me walk through the door. She lays her hands on my cheeks like she’s studying my face and my heart skips a beat when she smashes her cheek up against mine.
This whole process made me a better mother. God had her in the palm of His hand the whole time. There were days where it wasn’t visible, but it was there. God has shown me once and for all that He not only has my back, but He has Olivia’s. Before she was born, I would pray that this child be used for God’s glory and she got started on that from birth.
To close this week out, I want to share some photos from Easter. My in laws were in town so it was an extra special first Easter for Olivia.